The fun of getting older!

Everyone gets older every year. For some of you reading this you will say, "what took you so long", or " it's about time", or some other freakish thing to let me know I'm not the first.

Anyway, as the anniversary of my birth approches I find myself in a pickle. I had a Dr. visit on the 21st and left with a 'script for blood pressure meds. I know, normal fare for an early 50's guy. I can hear it now, "I've been taking those for years now!" Still for me it sucks. Just think back to when you started, it sucked.

Let's move on to the next item. Since that visit I have to prick my finger, ( not finger my prick, which would be more fun!) and test my blood sugar. It stays high. I was shocked to see just how high. I have a feeling I will be leaving next month with another 'script.  Based on family history, it was just a matter of when, and not if, when it comes to diabetes. The silver lining is, I have had to experiment with a bedtime snack to get my fasting blood sugar down. Guess which one had the best result so far. BEER! That's right, I had several beers and this morning, my BS was the lowest it has been since I started testing. 

In the end, I will have to take insulin, I may be able to get rid of the BP meds eventually. I am working on loosing weight to fit in my suits again. But the insulin will be something I will have to take from now on. At least the BP meds have not affected me as most. I am on a new one that is as expensive as hell, but very little side effects. WOW, I can drink beer to lower blood sugar, and I can take BP meds and still get it up. Maybe getting old isn't as bad as I though!

You know you're old when...

Well, where do I begin? At this point I am on the couch recovering from an embarrassing and painful goof. I trusted a piece of equipment that failed and tossed me to the ground the other day. At least it wasn't a tall ladder, just a 7 footer. AND,  no matter what you believe after watching The Breakfast Club, acoustic office ceiling tiles will NOT hold a person till the correct, comedic moment, before they cave in and drop that person to the floor. And they surely will not stop a fat boy, like me, from falling! 

What Hell am I in Now!

Sometimes the best laid plans go haywire. The last four days have been no exception. What started off as a four day weekend, quickly turned to Hell in all aspects of the meaning.

On Thursday I woke early, and remembered I had not set the phone system at work to run the 4th message on the 3rd. Didn't even know we would be off on the 3rd till I was walking out the door on the 2nd. I had set the 4th recording and schedule when we retuned from Memorial Day. Not a huge task, just a quick jaunt across town and it was done.

The boy had a Dr. Appt. in Tulsa at 10, and I was going to be hijacked into going, so I thought I'd make the best of it. A quick trip through McDonalds, hell on earth, by the way, and we were on our way. Or so I thought. As we approached Preston, the car quit. Just died like the key had been shut off. I coasted to the cross street and turned into the mini-storage drive. The car just cranked. For some reason, I just knew the timing belt had broke. I called my dad to come pick us up. We then went to U-Haul to rent a tow-dolly to get the car back home. 

Tow-dollies are a hot item and are almost non-existent, at least here, so I had to settle for a car trailer. Not a big deal, or so I thought. While entering info, their computer said we couldn't use this combo with the Chevy 1500 extended cab truck we had. It had to be a Silverado. Same truck, same frame, same engine, our 1500 even has the tow package and oversized brakes, but because it didn't say "Silverado" on the fender, we were not going to be able to rent the trailer. After about an hour of the clerk fumbling with the computer, we were on our way to get the car.

Loading wasn't too bad. We got a downhill run and shoved it on the trailer. Unloading is where it got fun. Dad tried to back into the driveway, which worked great till the front of the trailer got stuck on the hump. My friends know how steep my driveway is. After a little work, we got free and drove through a couple of yards to get up there. Car unloaded, and trailer returned, now the fun begins.

Of the 8-9 codes stored in the cars computer, most were cam and crank position items. I cracked open the case at the top and had the engine cranked to verify it was the belt.

In hindsight, I should have stopped right there and taken it to a friends shop. This is a PT Cruiser. I now think each person, who worked on the design of this "car" should have one greased and shoved up their ass! What a nightmare! There is no room at all to work on these things. All the videos I found don't really show "How" they get the fuckin motor mount off, they all just show the guy throwing it on the ground. Once I got it off, I know why they throw it. Two days of working on it and countless bursts of profanity later, I had the damn thing off. 

In the middle of all of this are two ungrateful kids, who think cooking a meal for them is going through the drive through at McDonalds. For fuck's sake, I'm not made of money, but these heathens are trying to spend it faster than I can make it. The worst fuckin restaurant on the planet, and I have the worst one in the whole chain where I live, and this is the ONLY place they want to go. AHHHH! The food sucks and it isn't good for you. I spend my frustrated time working on a piece of shit car, yelling no to my spoiled kids every 5 min about going to get "food" at fucking McDonalds! My daughter even somehow, got her boyfriends mom to get out at 11 at night and bring her something from there, because we "were drunk and wouldn't cook and there Was no food in the house!" 

Yes, my teenage daughter is now grounded. We have so much food in the house, I have boxes of cans on the dining room table, because the pantry is full. The freezer is so full, you can't even gaze into it or your stare will knock something out. And our  being " drunk" was us sitting on the patio with a couple of friends who had stopped by, and having an adult beverage, while I was relaxing from a day of hell with a car. I was on my second beer, when she called them.

The car is now back together, and it runs, although not smoothly yet. I spent two hours installing and re installing the new belt, because it would be a tooth off on one or the other of the three gears it had to line up. I finally got it so all were lined and rotated the engine over by hand several times to make sure. I do not ever want to have to get back into that belt compartment again. Yes, I did replace the water pump while I was in there, for all if you who know about these damned cars.

I still have the front tire to put on and the fender liner, after I retrieve my socket that fell behind the A/C compressor. Then time for a test drive to the nearest cliff???

I am sitting here this morning, beaten, brushed, scraped and sore. Usually cars are not that difficult, but this one is a mother! Seems like everything had to come off, but the bolts that hold everything are under the part they hold. I can say with all confidence that whatever the price to replace one of these at a shop, it isn't enough for the work involved. Along with a resounding "Fuck You Chrysler!" You made a car my wife wants, that I can't get my fat hands into. I have done a couple of water pumps on my friend's Dodge Ram pickups. Those were an asinine item too, so I don't know why I thought this would be different.

My life is already Hell, or has been since May, when everything else started turning to shit, so why change. Even my ass hurts from the butt-fucking this car has given me in the last three days.

Bottom line, don't get a PT Cruiser, unless you can afford to take it to a shop for repairs. Beat your kids every time they mouth off and act ungrateful. Avoid McDonalds at all costs, and just say "Fuck it" and crack open another beer!

Cheers!

An unfortunate event.

Two buddies were out hunting one day. One of the men needed to relieve himself so he found a spot away from the hunting area. He was crouching next to a fallen tree, doing his business, when a snake raised up and bit him on the end of his penis. At this point he screams for his buddy. 

"What do we do?" He asks. 

"I don't know, " says the friend, "I'll go to town and ask the Doc."

So the friend takes off running, all the way back to town and to the Drs office.

"Doc, what do I do? My buddy was bitten by a snake!"

"We'll," replied the Doc, "you need to take your knife, cut and X at the point where he was bitten, and suck the poison out with your mouth."

"Thanks Doc." Replied the man, and he takes off running back to his buddy.

"What did the Doc say?" His buddy asks nervously on his friend's return.

"Doc says YOU GONNA DIE!"

When All Hope is Lost.

It has been a while since I posted something here. I have been busy with a few projects. The latest is a green house where I can do some gardening. Found some cool plans in the Internet. It has cost me a bit more than they guy said, but I figure it is because of our wonderful economy. I will try to get some pics as it progresses and post them.

Elks is again at the center of my life, but this time from a different point. I have given up my custodial duties, but may again have to work it for a small time. My replacement goes to court today for a DUI. He had a date for a week ago that was postponed by weather. Since then he was picked up again for the same charge. He seemed a good kid, just not too bright. I guess I was not far off of that assessment.

I found out a few weeks ago that I would be our S.E. Dist. V.P. next year. ( I actually already knew this.)     I did find out that I will be the Dist. Deputy in three years. This is a post that is a two year term. Just when I thought I would get away! I have also been coaching our Ritual team. We had our first performance on Feb 22. We won. In all fairness, we were the only team from our Dist. I had to step in as Chaplain at the last sec. Our regular guy had what was reported as two heart attacks that week. After a few stints, he's up and going again, with more needed after state, but he will be there. That's good, because I have never done that position. I didn't do bad for one practice at it. I just shows that teaching and doing ARE two different things.

The haters are flaring up again as well. I thought this odd, but news worthy. I was " volunteered" to be entertainment at state convention this year in our hospitality room. The "other" group wants the guy we have been using for the last few years. Problem is, he charges. We don't have the money to pay. We never did, but it managed to be done while they were in charge because he is a friend and relative of theirs. I had done my free gig for several years before, and was since asked if I would do it again. BUT, since the haters are still hating, they don't want me for free, they want to pay their guy! If I sound like I care, I really don't. I am friends with him wether they like it or not, this is what he does for a business, and it means I get to MINGLE and I am not married to the room. I did say I would do it, so if and when the board decides NO on paying the other guy, I'll be there.

I don't understand the haters. They are nice to my face but ready to stab once your back is turned. This is the same group as before. It seems like its "Us and Them" when it comes to their mentality. We have mutual friends, who sadly will find out soon enough what I mean. I was friends with all the haters before they started their bullshit. To quote Neil Young, "Don't feel like Satan but I am to them!" What I don't understand is WHY? Why hate? Why waste the time to hate? Why waste the the time to come up with devious bullshit to undermine anything we do? They don't seem that smart, just lucky. They huddle together in their little group anywhere we go, and scowl at outsiders. All your doing is hurting yourself. It really doesn't make a hill of shit to me what they think, but it does wear thin after a while. I get tired of having to watch what I say just because their " luck" is when I screw up and say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. If they do the exact same thing, it's no big deal, but let one of us do it and watch out. I can take solace in knowing that someday they will get theirs. It won't be at my hand, but it will happen. When you least expect it, watch out. Fate will jump up and kick your teeth in! I would like to be there to watch Olympus fall, but then again, it puts me in their position. I'm better than that. Have fun while it lasts guys. The end is near!

I hope to place a few more posts on here before I die so keep watching! To my faithful followers, your comments are welcomed and appreciated. Please, if you read this, make a comment. I would like to know your still out there.

Uncle P